The Archives are a series of rooms in Middleman Headquarters which store information and relics of past Middlemen's adventures. The following items are known to be kept in various archives:
- The Middle-Lore
- A phased polaron cannon - kept in the Weapons Archive
- Lizzie, the vampire puppet queen - kept in the fifth floor archive by the 1895 Middleman
- The brain of Albert Einstein - also kept in the fifth floor archive
- A large emerald made by Carl Faberge, later eaten by Dr. Roland Newleaf
- A vast collection of items belonging to Vlad the Impaler, purchased at the behest of O2STK
In the deepest, most secure vault of Headquarters, the Middlemen kept Chac-Mol for centuries. It was only removed during the events of "The Doomsday Armageddon Apocalypse", when the Middleman employed its power against Manservant Neville.